Scissors (voice)

Paper (voice)

Rock (voice)

Convenient News Reporter (voice)

Pencil (voice)

Lou (voice)

Marie Curie / Ada Lovelace (voice)

Ominous Scientist / Focus Group Guy 3 (voice)

Driver (voice)

Sandpaper (voice)

Chad Brockchad (voice)

Kid / Woman / Kid 2 / Restaurant Patron 2 / Restaurant Patron 4 / Reporter 2 / Audience Member / Party Goer 2 (voice)

Potato (voice)

Hipponoid Commander / Paper's Boss (voice)

President / Friendly Shopkeeper / Orange Candy Wrapper (voice)

Store Owner / Waitress / Woman (voice)

Customer Service Rep / Wealthy Old Lady (voice)

Coach / Announcer / Reporter 1 / Party Goer 1 (voice)

Sharon / Future Sharon (voice)

Creepo / Director / Pizza Guy (voice)

Crazy-Eyed Pirate / Saleswoman / Skeleton / Sleeping Skydiver (voice)